our mask of reality.

ahh....i was thinking of how unreal people are...the many people i have relationships with seem so normal but inside many of us are in such sadness, pain and anguish. Its seems ironic that we are laughing and tlaking about the weather when our minds are constantly battling with our brimming emotions. We're stuck at this superficial level where everything is okay but when u probe deeper, you discover something is not right, and in the best of intentions, you attempt to "fix me" but i reject your offer of support and to thank you, i alienate you because i regret ever telling you and i want to believe it will go away by itself.
i wont even pretend that its even possible to be open and loving all the time to everyone. Offering up love coupled with blantant honesty and acceptace seems so impossible but yet we're apparently called to do it.
maybe we couldnt handle it anways. we're hardwired to look out for 'numero uno'. so we're private souls carrying our own burdens because maybe id crumble if i had to carry you too.